Confidence Lessons from Marie Southard Ospina - A Chick Who Rules

Self-Love

May 8

As a woman dedicated to empowering and inspiring other women, I consider it my job to raise others up. Let's learn from each other!As women, we have commonalities. Shared fears. Shared hopes. And, at the heart of it, we want many of the same things. To feel valuable. To be rewarded. Cherished. To feel good about who we are!I'm kicking off a brand new weekly feature, Chicks Who Rule! Each week I will feature a different woman who will share her personal feelings on confidence and style.Listen. Learn. Apply. This is one of the great gifts in this world! I hope you enjoy my new series. If you want to nominate a Chick Who Rules (all ages, all sizes, all shapes welcome!) head over to the Contact page and drop me a note!- Sarah

Meet Marie. She is a Chick Who Rules.

Insightful. Free-spirited. Outspoken.These are words easily attributed to Marie. The first time I came across her was a story online describing her observations while wearing a low-rise bikini at the beach. As Associate Fashion and Beauty Editor at Bustle.com, she spearheads the majority of body positivity and plus fashion content. Her personal blog, Migg Mag, is all about the celebration of the fuller figure, but she hopes to inspire all women to love each and every part of themselves, even those they've traditionally been told are "flaws," from their visible belly outlines to their cellulite to their wobbly thighs.

1) If you could go back in time and talk to yourself 10 years ago, what advice would you give based on what you know now?

Ten years ago, I would've told 14-year-old me to stop listening. Stop listening to all the people who told her she wasn't good enough. Stop listening to the people who told her being fat was the worst thing a human being could possible be. Stop listening to anyone who didn't see her beauty, her intelligence, and her uniqueness. Because she is beautiful, intelligent, and unique. And her body is part of all that.

2) Now let's zip forward, ten years from today. What do you want your Older Self to know?

Inspirational and body positive quotes from Marie Southard Ospina

It's hard to know what I'll be like in 10 years, because I do believe we are naturally ever-changing. But I always worry that future me will fall into the trap of adulthood: Too busy with a 9-5 job to pursue hobbies and passions and travels. It's what happens to so many people. So I'd tell an older version of myself to never lose sight of her priorities. Work is important, but it's not the most important thing.

Quote about confidence and body positivity

6) What is the best piece of style advice you ever received? What is the best piece of style advice you can give?

3) What does Confidence mean to you?

"Confidence" is one of these subjective terms that I'd never want to define, much like "beauty." It means something different to different people. But for me, confidence is feeling at peace in my self. It's the ability to live my life not in spite of my body, but with it. It's waking up in the morning, looking down at my bare belly, and knowing it's beautiful. It's trusting that what I'm doing is right for me, at any given moment. It's trusting that even when I f*ck up, it happened for a reason. It's seeing the beauty in disorder.

4) How do you feel about your body just as it is TODAY?

It's hard to talk about loving your body without being criticized for being vain. But I think a sense of vanity is important. I look at myself naked, and I know my body is not the mainstream aspirational vision of beauty we're all supposed to strive towards. But I find it beautiful. Sure, I hope that constructs of "ideal" beauty begin to dissipate with time. I hope for inclusivity and acceptance of all bodies. It's what I work for every day. But in the meantime, I'm pleased with everything about mine. It allows me to do everything I need and want it to do, and more.

5) What is the one item in your closet that you could not do without?

I think a loose-fitting denim shirt is my go-to right now. It's just such a versatile pice of clothing. You can wear it for layering as a spring jacket, tie it into a cute crop top, wear it around your hips as an accessory. And it goes well with every genre of clothing in my wardrobe right now — from the super vintage to the modern.

The best style advice I ever received came from my partner, actually. He pointed out that he hated a dress I was wearing (we're honest about these things!) and I said I loved it and was wearing it anyway. To which he said, "Well, obviously. If you like it you should wear it." And that's it, really. We should all wear the things we like, regardless of whether our families or friends or perfect strangers will find it hideous.The best piece of advice I could offer: There's no such thing as "pulling something off." There's no such thing as "the right clothing for your body." We all deserve to wear the things we adore. End.Of.Sentence.