Diet Less/Love more -
Mentoring to Remove Diet Culture Sh*t from Weight Loss as Much as Possible
Cohort Zero launching Spring, 2024
Stop being influenced by other people. Start figuring shit out for yourself. Only YOU get to decide what values you have about your body, your weight, and your life.
I bet you an imaginary $10 that you can give me a list of things other people want you to feel about your body and your weight. Your mother. Maybe an ex. Someone on social media. It’s understandable that you’ve been shaped by what other people think… but now you get to take that power back. I’m going to help you. I’m not going to give you the answers like a fast cheat sheet of bullshit - I’m going to help you GIVE YOURSELF the answers. It’s time to free yourself from others (and your own!) shame and judgment and purse real body liberation. Only then can you bring weight loss into your life in ways that work for you. The problem is, you’ve been going at it all wrong. This isn’t your fault, this is how we were raised and conditioned. Here’s what I mean:
This is what 99% of every diet you’ve done has focused on.
This is what you need to focus on instead.
Your mindset matters. What you FEEL matters. And what you THINK matters. And, yes, what you DO is very important, but if you don’t dig in to the other things, you’re just going to spend more time tangled up in crappy diets that offer you blasts of success but never bring you the real happiness or lifelong change you’re really searching for.
Welcome to Diet Less/Love More.
Group Mentoring to help you Remove Diet Culture Sh*t from Weight Loss as Much as Humanly Possible.
I’m a midlife women who has spent decades with sh*t self-esteem and a dysfunctional relationship to her body, food, and whole bunch of other things. I was raised in the 80’s and 90’s. I graduated high school before social media was a thing. I remember Oprah wheeling her cart of fat. Every famous woman who “let herself go” splashed on the cover of The Enquirer, like Kirstie Alley who got puffy and round while everyone laughed. I remember Carnie Wilson and her black blazer on the beach, while the other members of Wilson Phillips frolicked in revealing outfits. I watched my mother diet and, by the time I was eight, I was at Weight Watchers coloring in the little circles. If there was one phrase that represented my childhood relationship to dieting, it was hearing my mother say “If you don’t lose the weight now, you’ll never do it when you get older. “ Damn. She was right.
I’ve got a whole story as to how I got to the place I am in my life - including in my weight. What matters here, is that it took me till I was 40 to truly see how disordered my relationship to food was. Even more than that, to see just how codependent add f*cked my relationship t o losing weight was in general. So I began the messy process of figuring out the differences between diet culture, weight loss, and personal transformation.
I turned all of this into a big, juicy section of my book, Soul Archeology - A (Totally Doable) Approach to Living a Self-Loving and
Unpopular but necessary truth: There’s a difference between dieting, weight loss, and the personal transformation so many people are actually seeking when they say, “I want to lose weight. Nobody wants to talk about this sh*t because it’s sticky AF. But we need to. Because our own liberation hinges on our ability to think for ourselves and detach our self-esteem from the opinions of others.
Liberated Life. The publishers trimmed it out for size — and the result is years of personal and professional work I’m now using to connect with other like-minded women and help them directly.
Here are a few things I need you to know that totally get.
One, that thinking and talking about all of this stuff is super hard. That’s totally, OK and understandable.
Two, that you may be feeling stuck between your desire for change and the comforting reassurance of the body positive movement. It’s words are a balm to our weight-shamed soul. This makes total sense because these movements are saying the things we have waited our whole life to hear - we ARE deserving of love and good things exactly as we are!
Lastly, I know that you have things you want to say but you are scared to. Maybe you worry what your friends or family think? Or “going against conversation” on social media makes you want to vomit and binge watch episodes of Dawson’s Creek. I get it. I will never judge you.
You can let go of that breath you were holding now. I’ve got your back. Your shame doesn’t scare me. Hard conversations don’t scare me. And I am ready to stand beside you while you learn how to critically think for yourself and come up with a new way to work through some very old demons.
If you’re reading this, its probably because you want to weigh less but you’re having mixed feelings about it. That’s OK. There’s a reason why.
When you get behind the wheel of a car, you put on a seatbelt to keep you safe. Everyone knows that accidents sometimes happen and that a seatbelt will reduce your risk for greater bodily harm if, and when, they do.
Weight loss- much like driving a car - is a potentially dangerous thing. Thanks to diet culture, there are bumps in the road at every turn that can derail us, damage our sense of self, or worse! But, much like you probably need a car to navigate your daily life, for many people, weight loss is a net-positive necessity for their daily life that they need to address. The key is to do everything you can to make the drive as safe as possible.
Dieting sucks. Don’t do it.
The problem and the solution.
You’re up against a mountain. You think you want to weigh less but you know losing weight - and diet culture - has only left you feeling broken, ashamed, ugly, embarrassed, and like you could never be enough. And yet… here you are. So what do you do?
I can’t tell you how to lose weight. But, I can tell you that the only person who can make sure things are different this time is you. The only person who can assure you don’t perpetuate the same f*cked up cycles again and again, is you.
There HAS to be a way for folks who have had an emotional relationship to to their body (and to food) to be able to approach weight loss without it being a toxic sh*t show. Right? I believe there is, but it’s not easy…
Your mindset is like the seatbelt you buckle up every time you start your car to travel. Like a seatbelt keeps you safe, buckling into the right mindset will help you minimize the damage if, and when, diet culture causes your car to wreck on the highway of life. The danger of diet culture is EVERYWHERE and so deeply ingrained in each of us so its basically impossible to take our car for a spin without hitting a pothole or two!
The cold hard truth is that diet culture and weight loss are intrinsically linked. The best we can do is our BEST. But, it’s still worth the work.
To do something different, you gotta take control of your mindset the best you possibly can. And then hang on for the ride. Don’t be scared - I’ll help you
I can’t teach you how to lose weight - frankly, I don’t even care if you want to or not. But, I CAN teach you what boundaries and barriers you can put in place to protect yourself from diet culture as much as possible if you decide that weight loss is right for you. What to do. What not to do. And how you can change your thinking. As a result of this, you’ll cultivate a much less “violent” relationship to your weight loss. And, in doing so, keep your focus on what really matters, build confidence and self-esteem, and create life on your terms.
Diet Less / Love More will give you tools you need to approach your weight loss as self-lovingly and harm-free as possible.
Our work will take you from “confused” to “crystal clear” and provide you with a personalized value system and action-playbook you can use to to guide your journey. Yes, a literal list of values, action items, and tips that, if you follow them, will keep you from the viscous cycle of diet culture shame.
Here are just a few of the things you’ll learn from our work.
What “personal transformation” actually is and why that matters when you are on a weight loss journey.
This also includes identifying your Real Why and separating it from your Movie Why. Also, how to adjust your “why” if it is not aligned with your Ultimate You, and how to keep focused on your RW throughout your journey.
The real definition of diet culture and how it impacts your life.
We’ll uncover all the sneaky ways that diet culture invades our life (and self-worth!) and pull back the covers to fully comprehend what diet culture has cost you up to this point in time in your life, and what it will continue to cost moving forward if you don’t make change.
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The connection between your Ultimate You and your weight.
Your greater liberation in life includes your body liberation. End of story. We’ll explore all the “big ideas of fatness” so that you can start divorcing yourself from group thought to create your own set of body values as it relates to how you want to personally experience life.
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Sarah’s “Don’t Do This Shit” List full of habits to break and practical changes to make ASAP. These things are simple but NOT easy!
What kind of data you CAN track.
Before and After thinking from both an emotional and physical perspective including what not to do and what to do instead!
Dealing with other peoples Diet Culture Crap!
And more!
Food morality
The truth about Goal weights
The stories that shaped us growing up
Our Map of Body Influence
Reclaiming our sense of self!
Also…
Most importantly, each session together will be a totally safe space for you to express the sticky stuff you don’t want to say out loud. Additionally, this will be a place where you can stumble, “screw up,” and work new ideas as you get more confident with them. Your semi-private group assures that you are surrounded by people you trust. And I will guide you!
Remember… Thee are no judgments AT ALL. Our house is THE place you can share the things that hurt you for decades. We are all in this together. To be clear, our work together will not include advice on how to lose weight or strategies for weight loss. We WILL discuss how to make your journey as self-loving as possible based on your choices.
A custom list of personal values based on your needs, your desires, and your unique history.
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How it works
Diet Less / Love More is group mentoring experience offering a judgment-free place for those struggling with the idea and process of weight loss to show up, be seen, receive guidance and education, and focus on mindset adjustments.
It is a place for conversation, and to share the “icky” stuff we think about but are scared to say out loud. We will accomplish this through discussions, education, support, and guided self-work. Please note, this is not a substitute for therapy or trauma informed support offered by a license mental health professional, nor is it a support group for eating disorder recovery. It IS a place to uncover our sh*t and become more self-aware.
For it’s initial Cohort Zero launch, DLLM is focused solely on small-group mentoring. In the future, a very limited number of private mentoring may be available.
The following should be considered:
Members must have prior experience with Sarah’s work, ideally through a LIFELOVE vatreat experience.
Interested mentees should have a group in mind when enrolling - Sarah will not be facilitating large groups of strangers for this first phase.
Groups are to be three to five people in size.
All attendees must agree to a time for group - the same weeknight, week day. or Saturday morning.
Included in Cohort Zero:
Twice monthly Zoom mentoring sessions for big ideas, learning, and sticky stuff. (90 min each)
Two phone or Zoom check-in sessions per month to keep you track and answer pressing questions and follow ups. / 30 min each
Group What’sApp chat.
Assignments and work utilizing UpCoach
One private session with Sarah each month.
Each option will include resources, worksheets, downloads and more.
During this introductory cohort, DLLM is offered at $275 pp pm / $825 Total for three months (12 total group sessions)
Please note: There’s a lot of information to cover here. How much we can accomplish will depend on the group and how much time and bandwidth people want to commit to mentoring. These are big ideas!